Time Together

Remember when they told you that love-making, romanticism, and butterflies would end after you got married? Remember when you told them they were crazy?

Recall when they told you life was really over after having kids, that there was no way to relive all the fun, spice, and excitement in bed that you had early on? Remember then wondering if they might be right... even just a little.

After being together for 12 years, married for 8, I've experienced the emotional, sexual, and romantic fears that come with being married, starting careers, bearing children, becoming parents, and wishing you had time alone more frequently. I've also had the opportunity to mature in my way of thinking about love.

It was about a year ago, when a friend introduced me to the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, that I started to be intriqued by this idea. (She actually co-wrote her experience with her husband in a recent post on the Quad City Moms Blog -- which is super cool!)

Okay, so yes, I understood that love comes in other ways beyond the bedroom, but I hadn't realized that love can be felt and expressed just as strongly through these other languages. The truth is that everyone speaks a love language, and once you decipher what that is, it's really easy to feel less attention-deprived and more loved every day.

So, on my journey through this book, I learned that my #1 love language is clearly Quality Time. I want nothing more than to have time with my loved ones that is focused, where conversation is strong, smiles connect us, and emotions are felt by the experience of just being together. Let me share my examples:

• One of my favorite memories as a child was when my dad would take my sister and I out to the airport to watch planes come in. We were not distracted by TV, video games, or interruptions. Our conversations were focused on the same thing, at the same time. And not one of us had a passion for flight.
• My husband's proposal to me was perfect because we were sitting alone on a dock, staring at the stars, and reminiscing about the days when we started dating. We aren't astrologists by any means, and we don't understand constellations. But it was just us, hearing each other out.
• A recent family day trip gave us exactly what I was craving. We piled the kids into the minivan and headed for NE Iowa, where the leaves are a perfect crisp orange and burnt red in early October. The hills roll for miles and it's awesome to watch the reflection of them on the river. And as we entered this area of the state, we ooh'd and aah'd together, snapped photos, toured Spook Cave, and ate at the unforgettable Pete's Hamburgers in Prairie du Chien.
• The holidays are a some of my favorite times each year because we all have a break from school, work, routine, and chaos. We have time for home cooking, movies and popcorn, game nights, and snuggling.

Now, don't let me fool you, Physical Touch is still my love-language-runner-up, but you may not have suspected that Receiving Gifts scores zero points in my book!

Find out how you feel love by taking the online quiz! 

Truth from Teachers

One of the most nerve-wracking, feel-good moments of being a parent is attending your child’s school conference. At the early age of 3, you sign up to have someone else inform you how your child fares among their peers. It’s one of those times that I truly expect to hear “good” things, but at the same time, am very open to constructive feedback, areas of improvement, and even challenges that come with all kids learning at various intervals. My appreciation goes out to all educators who make this happen on a daily basis.

This week, we had the chance to talk with both of the kids’ teachers. Here’s a recap:

Caden

He’s caught up on his reading level, performing right at the targeted expectation for the end of the first trimester. This was a huge area of improvement for him so far in 1st grade. I remember back to preschool, and I was regularly checking in with an early childhood professional from the AEA, concerned that he wasn’t really talking yet. In kindergarten, we tried getting him to read by the end of the year, but he would get so mad and frustrated that it wasn’t productive for any of us. And he was behind in his reading level, as of the end of last year. Today, he’s reading his own books, sounding out words when he’s unsure, using phonemic illustrations for words that are not spelled as they sound (he tells us this is just like sign language on paper), and he’s interested in reading. At the same time, he’s excelling in math. Cade claims this to be his favorite part of school, and he’s already surpassed the mathematical goals for the entire year. His teacher (who is amazing!!, by the way) has promised him that she’ll continue to support him as far as he can make it this year. To my complete surprise, we learned that he is one of 6 kids in the entire 1st grade (roughly 65 kids) that is being pulled out on Fridays for expanded arithmetic lessons. Wow. As a parent, what do you say to that?

Alayna

She loves school, and is such a helper among her peers. When the teachers need to call on someone to lead by example, buddy up with a younger child, or wait turns appropriately, she is the go-to gal. Her strengths lie in her creative abilities: coloring, cutting, drawing, singing, and reading. She’s definitely up to speed on knowing her ABC’s, understanding the combinations of letters which make words, and how to write her name with upper and lower case letters appropriately and legibly. Her counting has been above average; while many know how to count, she is counting objects and identifying the correct numbers associated with the count. She continues to work on her A-B-C patterns, but is coming along very well. Layne refrains from tantrums and sassy language at school and toward her teachers (thankfully!), but does give them The Glare when she doesn’t appreciate the direction she was given. I'm told over-and-over that this is a sign of her independence... a great attribute for a woman. We continue to focus on her enunciation of letters R and L, although, I have to say that her little southern-drawl is too cute.

 

 

I sure hope that both of the babes continue succeeding academically. It’s such a blessing to have children who naturally love school, and are challenged to always do their best while there. Academics are such an integral part of growing, and we couldn’t be more proud of their 6- and 4- year old accomplishments.

Half-Way There!

I woke today with excitement and anticipation! It was time for our 20 week ultrasound! First thing's first... I peed in my cup, showered, and got the kids ready for school. At breakfast, Alayna looks at me funny as says, "Mom, I think it's weird that you have to show your doctor your pee again!"

Yeah, well that statement turned into an entire breakfast conversation between a 4- and 6- year old of: "how does she get her pee in there?" ... "oh, I bet she scooped it out of the toilet!" ... "how does it stay in there!" ... "I wonder where do she puts it"? ... "why is it so yellow?"

Okay, enough! I fessed up to the kids as though they were crazy for not understanding how this works... I explained that I simply put the cup under my butt and pee in it! Then the doctor tests it to see if the baby is okay. Fine, they got it.

After just a couple hours in meetings, I raced out, picked up the hubs from the office, and arrived at the appointment just in time. Whoo-hoo, it was time to see this baby in action!

Oh yeah, time to weigh in. Another 3 lbs gained since the 16 week appt. Jarin clarified quickly that was 9 lbs since pre-pregnancy... thanks A-Hole. Did I mention that we should mandate husband weigh-ins each month too?

Right away, I handed the technician our orange envelope with card inside that read:

It's A _________

I clarified that we do not want to know the gender today, and she agreed. Carefully I listened as she described the baby's anatomy, but she never slipped with a he or she. Come to find out, it is a perfectly healthy 11 oz. baby - spine, brain, stomach, arms and legs were all perfect, and the strong heartbeat came in at 136 bpm. I could even count all 10 toes and fingers.

Okay, so quite possibly Baby is flipping us off in this one picture, but after about a half hour of poking and prodding, this little Baby was fed up and tired! Watch this sweet moment that was captured with Baby's big yawn:

 

We left the office, and Jarin designated himself keeper of the envelope which holds the card with the now-filled-in-blank. How he got to be the lucky one, I'm not sure. Although, if I had access, I may be tempted to peek!

 

So, what do you think it is? Take the poll on the right side of the blog, and stay tuned for the big reveal, compliments of Bella Daisy Photography.