8 Years Old and Growing Up

Somewhere, somehow, 8 years has passed since our 5lb, 6-week preemie surprised us with his arrival. He's at that stage now which is the perfect balance of still wanting to snuggle in at night and give kisses and hugs before school, but just old enough that his friends are becoming a very important staple in his day, fashion is top of mind, and he's even spoken of a "girlfriend" (although she doesn't know!) This week, it was clear... he's getting bigger, he's growing up, and oh-my-goodness there are definitely some things that I need to be more prepared for.

It all started when he needed the nut cup last weekend. With dad gone for a short time, I talked the neighbor into taking his boy and Cade on a field trip. Off to Dick's they went (no pun intended) and home he came with compression shorts and nut cup insert. He was so bashful about it, that it was precious. He asked me to wash the shorts and have them ready for the game tonight. Sure, I can do that. Well, I can, but then I wasn't sure how to put it all back together. I tried hard to ensure I was doing it right, like any champ-of-a-mom would.

I inserted the V-shaped nut cup upside down, assuming that the bigger portion would cover the bottom of his [ah-hem] stuff. The poor kid. He stood in the laundry room, wiggling his little butt, and trying to make it comfortable, before asking me if I maybe put it in upside down. Bless his heart. I nearly took a picture of the thing at that point, and emailed Jarin in China for help, but then I was determined. I can do this, I thought. I flipped that sucker around, and reinserted it into the shorts, and ta-da! Comfort!

He ran out the door tonight, with a nut-cup and new glove. And he even tried playing catcher for the first time, just like his daddy did back in the day.

It could be worse.

What a fun week we had with Jarin being home. Him and I had a full week home together each day, which allowed him to complete a little honey-do list, but he also got to be hands-on with a lot of the weekly activities. Cade's 1st Communion was a big celebration, a quick field trip with Alayna's class, lots of snuggle time for Paisley, neighborhood baseball games, 2 touchdowns in flag football, and gymnastics and dance competitions were fit in. The two of us even had an afternoon date to the winery and outlet mall!

After taking this awesome picture of us saying our goodbyes again at the airport on Saturday, Jar departed through the security gates.

We hung on for a while, waiting to make sure he made his way, and then the littlest peanut (who doesn't look so thrilled in the picture above) started wandering around with the "where's dada" shrug. I think it's safe to say that she fell in love this last week. :)

As we walked to the car that afternoon, I had trouble holding it back again. A sweet elderly couple witnessed it, and stopped me, "is he in the military ma'am?" "No," I replied, as I held Paisley a little closer in my arms, hiding my tears behind her. They continued asking questions with the utmost empathy, including how long has he been gone, when will you see him next, how long will this go on for? And then they summarized it.... "but with a family, it doesn't make it any easier, does it?" I grasped a little tighter to Cade and Layna's hands. No, it didn't.

In that moment, I was overwhelmed with the idea of going more than a month again without seeing him in person...thinking through all that he may miss -- school performances, end of school year parties, Cade's birthday, family gatherings and more.

It wasn't until late Saturday night that I truly appreciated the initial question that couple had asked me. We really are so fortunate. I know he's safe, and not physically on a battleground. I know what he's doing each day, and where he is staying. And I know exactly how to reach him whenever the kids want to say hi. So, more than anything, it made me appreciate what our military families go through.

God bless all of the families who put themselves out there every day, to stand up for our freedom, and risk being away from their spouses and children to do it. I'm not sure how you have the courage and selflessness to do such a humble act, but know that we are grateful for it. And I promise never to take for granted the time that we have together, nor will I complain (as much) about the time we are apart.

5 Lessons

It's been over 7 weeks since I have seen my man -- by far, the longest I've ever gone without being by his side. And, sure there have been days that I've cried, days that I wanted to give up on this single-mama stuff, and moments that I could have finished the entire bottle of wine alone, but overall, we have done pretty well. Here five lessons that I've learned so far....

1. Never be too humbled to ask for help. I've accepted my mom's visits at 6 a.m. each day while I go for a run, I've asked my neighbor to come sit with a sleeping baby while I pick up another kiddo from dance, I've allowed my aunt to go out of her way to bring home the boy later at night so he could play longer when the girls reached bedtime, and I've even been okay with my father-in-law buying and replacing new light bulbs on the front of my house. Sure, I've thanked them up and down and insisted on paying or repaying for their graciousness, but what I've found is that people who care about you are happy to help, and even more flattered that you asked for the help.

2. Single parents rock. I have done a lot of balancing of schedules in the evenings and weekends, which makes me feel like a super-calendar-saavy, activity-organized-nazi... and yet I've still gotten to practices 30 minutes late, and done drive thru at Wendy's just to fit in dinner. I've read books every night, tucked them each in, kept family routines, braved nice dinners out, and attended long masses with my kids, just to show the world that I can do it. But let me tell you, it's frustrating. It's hard when there is no one else to do the disciplining while you do the cuddling, it's tough to teach the lessons and be an exemplary parent when you could tape their mouth shut, and it's exhausting when all you really want to do is pee by yourself. Let's give it up for the single parents who make sacrifices every day for their kids -- bless you all, you are doing the right thing.

3. Stay-at-home moms deserve a lot of credit. Maybe it's because I have a one year old that has wheels of a three year old, but each day I find my shoes in the garbage can, dirty laundry thrown down the stairwell, toys in the stove broiler, and hairbows tossed in the pantry. And as soon as I pick it all up, there is milk spilled on the carpet, Kleenex's strewn through the house, and a sweet baby waiting at my legs to be read and rocked to. And during all the chaos, the laundry is done, the groceries are purchased, fieldtrips are attended, classroom parties are organized, dinner is prepared, kids are picked up, naps are taken, and preparation for a move around the world is in the works! While, I adore every moment that I have at home, there is never a boring, dull moment, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time.

5. I'm a happy wife. After 10 years of marriage I love my husband more than I even knew I did. This time away from him has taught me so much about what I take for granted in life, about the joy he brings to me, about the rock that he is to us, and how I really do rely on him to be there -- even when we sit in silence. His presence, here with us, makes our family complete. And I never, ever want to live without that.

Cleaning Out

Spring has sprung (finally!) and this mama has spring-cleaning-fever like you've never seen. I guess it helps that this is my full-time job AND we can only take one 40' container with us to Shanghai; so we have the choice to either live minimally or re-purchase a lot of our goods overseas. Either way, we can't take it with us. And with a fairly good-sized home stuffed full of toys, clothes, and all the baby items that I've hung onto for the last 8 years... that makes for a lot of {ahem} junk that might be good for someone other than me.

A couple weeks ago, I started pulling it all together for a spring rummage sale, and then decided why not post some on social media and get rid of as much "treasure" as I could before having to haul it outside for what will no-doubt be a rainy day of minimal traffic through the garage. But here's my dilemma....I feel really bad.

I mean, guilt is setting in with every post I make. There are a lot of memories embedded in these boxes of unwanted things. And in many cases, someone, somewhere, some family member put a lot of thought or energy into buying these goods for us at one point or another. It was someone's 1st birthday, or a special baptism, or a house warming, or hell, some of this was even perfectly thoughtful hand-me-downs. And I feel totally unappreciative. 

Maybe you'd say what's the difference between putting all this in a garage sale vs. posting online. But I'm flooding everyone's news feeds whether they like it or not. And with a garage sale, the gift-giver may never have known that the item was parting ways with our family. Plus, I'm making money off these gifts. Now, on the flip-side, I don't want to end up on the show: Hoarders! And, to clarify, I do donate a ton of clothes each year to women's shelters and Goodwill. But the amount of stuff I'm talking about is overwhelming.

So, am I in the wrong? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts.... am I overreacting to the situation, or am I truly an ungrateful, thoughtless mama trying to make a few bucks? 

Adding to the Calendar

Shortly after Jarin took off for China I bought the kids a paper calendar to keep track of the big events that we had going on. I thought it would give them something to look forward to on a daily basis while missing daddy. And boy, did they run with it! We now have every practice recorded, a countdown going until daddy gets home, and they are even taking turns marking off the days each morning.

Today, as I was adding something to the calendar I noticed that Alayna (God bless her) independently added her play date with a friend from school. As you can see, we'd arranged for them to get together Friday afternoon following the early dismissal.

Girlfriends

You know those friends who you don't chat with often enough.... those girls you think about all the time, even buy the perfect card for, and never send it.... the ones that if you had to write a book about them it'd be a million pages long because you have that many awesome memories about your friendship? These are typically the same girls that you truly connect with (beyond Facebook, text messages, Snaps!, and IM's) only once or twice a year. And often it's all because you're too busy running from this to that, or you hesitate interrupting their evenings with the kids. But then when you do catch up, without fail, it's like you just saw each other yesterday. (Okay, tell me I'm not the only one in this awful predicament!) Makes you crazy, right?

Well, last week, we did just that. Peg and I go back to when all of us newlyweds lived in the same Minneapolis suburb 10 years ago. Since then, there have been 5 babies and 4 moves between us. And, on March 4th, each of our hubs began our next endeavors, while we each stay back waiting for the kids to finish school. [Clearly, our lives are way too similar!] So, there we were one night texting back and forth, as we both are ready to make moves #5 and 6 between us. We were truly having a pity party for ourselves about how much of a headache it is to pack and "do it all," and how terrible the guys feel being away, and how hard it is on the kids.... yada-yada-yada. And it came to us... we deserved a glass of wine!

Spring Break, baby!!

So it wasn't quite like wet t-shirt contests and midnight parties on the beach.... but, it has been dance parties, dunk contests, and lots of snuggling! Spring break with a 7, 6, and 1 year old (at home and on a budget) requires a little planning. We sure had a blast with our stay-cation activities, and I hope it's something that these babes will remember. They woke each day with smiles on their faces, were thrilled for our day of activities (no matter how lame or grand), and every night they went to bed, wanting to slumber together and talk. Now, how precious is that?

Happy 1st Birthday Pais!

Well, here's my proof that a year can fly by...

Our little baby girl turns ONE today! It seems like only a week ago I was rushing out of work, only to be holding our special gift from God just one short hour later. [For more on that birthing story, click here.] And yet, so much has happened in this year. She has grown and changed, laughed and cried, loved more than any other, learned to feed herself and throw her food, taken her first steps, made lots of noises, become so curious, and soon she'll be moving to China! Now, how many 1 year olds can say that!?!?

If you have trouble watching the video, click here.

Paisley, you amaze us every day, and we are so blessed to have you in our lives. As cliche as it sounds, I can't ever imagine how our lives would be without you. You truly add such a fun and inspiring dimension to every day, and for that, I'm a better person. Thank you for giving me the gift of motherhood, yet again.

What a day!

We've only known it's coming for 1/2 a year. You'd think we'd be prepared. But nothing could have made me ready for him to walk away. No one could have told me exactly how I would have felt at that moment. ... And there's not much allowing me to put it aside either.

One week ago, Jarin picked the kids up from school, dropped Cade off at the house, and took his little girl out on a date with ice cream, and a special mani and pedi {sparkles and all}! We then enjoyed a home-cooked dinner together -- Jarin's pick -- and daddy tucked everyone in tightly. That in itself was more of a challenge than expected. Tears flowed when saying "I love you," and that baby girl looked up into his eyes and asked why he was crying. Unfortunately, as there is no way for us adults to be ready, preparing the children is even more difficult. Jars did what any daddy would do, and just held her a little closer that night.

Later!

With Jarin taking off to Shanghai soon, the good-bye's and farewell's have started. We have taken the time to hang out with so many friends and family whether for breakfast, birthdays, a hockey game, bowling or a full night out!

Maybe we should pretend someone close to us is leaving more often. Seriously. We have had so much fun!!!