He's getting smart!

My kids are at the age, only 20 months apart, that they play so well together. I hate for them to grow up, grow apart, separate girl things from boy things, meet their own friends, focus on their own interests, etc.

Something though, tells me that it's not going to be just their interests that pull them apart.... it might possibly be Cade's annoyance with how much his sister talks! She doesn't quit!!! Every waking moment she is telling a story, wanting your undivided attention, all the while chomping on her bubble gum! She is the all-American, chattery, valley-girl who back in the 90's our parents mocked and made fun of us for.

Tonight the two were playing downstairs together while I made dinner. Of course I could hear Alayna bossing Caden around, being her sassy-self. He just took her orders and pretty soon Cade came up with his three motorcycles and shut the basement door behind him. I didn't think anything of it as Layna continued jabbering downstairs by herself. She was singing, playing with the babies, chewing her gum, and carrying on when after about 20 min she yelled for Cade (in a singy-song voice), "Big bruuuuutter! Wheeere arrrre youuuu?" His response was without pause and completely nonchalant, "I am still going potty."

Clearly, he did not come up to go potty! I looked at him (kinda sideways, I'm sure) and said, "Really? Why did you tell her that?"

"Cuz mom," he said, "... I don't want her to know where I'm at!" Poor boy.

Saying Good-bye to Mr. Miles

Jarin has fought allergies for as long as I've known him. And I've known him since college. But, I've also had my furry friend, Mr. Miles, since then as well. So when the ENT refused to do much to treat Jarin's allergies until he got rid of the cat, it was a toss up for me. Get rid of the husband, or Miles? Okay, well maybe not that extreme...

Then in the fall of 2009, Cade was put on an inhaler for an allergic cough. Oh no, I really needed to start thinking about my options now! While Jarin was such a good sport for 8 years, I didn't think it was right to make Cade go through the fight too. So I started pondering what life would be without the furry guy running  around.

Well, it's a year and a half later now, and we are planning to move. What a perfect time to find him a new home. But, I was certain there wouldn't be another family to love Miles the way we have. Even with the boys' allergies, not a day went by that either of them didn't hold, cuddle, and love him.

Finally last week I sat at the computer and wrote up the online newspaper classified, added a picture...and hit 'Save'. The next day, I pulled it back up on the computer... do I really hit 'Submit'? Yes, I had to. And within 9 hours I had my first email from someone inquiring. Right away I called Jarin (who was in New Orleans on business). "I can't commit," I told him.

But I did, and it couldn't have worked out better. Miles is now the brother to 3-year old who was afraid of the dark and reluctant every time his parents left him. The family keeps in contact with us regularly and provides continuous updates on Miles. Their most recent note said the following:

Things are still going really well. We have all grown to love Miles so much! He really fits well here and we all enjoy his company. Just as you said he is always close by where ever we are. Today Tyler and I made Easter cupcakes and Miles was right there "supervising" the whole time! :)

Here he is snuggled in his new digs...

Time with Granpa

I often write about family. It's a value that I hold close. It's why I'm the person I am. It's why Jarin is who he is. It's one reason Jarin and I clicked years ago. It's the basis of how we raise our children. It's why we are moving home...

A couple weeks ago, I packed up the kids and drove over two hours to see my grandfather, who's living in a care center, and cared for daily by my lovely aunt and her many co-workers. Granpa Don is my only living grandparent, and we don't get to see him often enough. And, that's enough to make a mom feel guilty -- my kids don't have the opportunity to endure that special relationship regularly.

It also makes me nervous when we do get to visit. I'm typically afraid that the kiddos won't be familiar enough with him to know how important hugs, kisses and that special bond is. But, my Thing 1 and Thing 2 blew me away!! When I mentioned the idea, they were excited! Right away, they drew pictures for him and I helped them add their photo and put a frame around each. Here's a shot of Granpa's reaction when they presented his gifts....

We spent two hours with him that afternoon, in his small room, and we reminisced about his life with my grandmother, how they met, when they got married, how they loved children.... and watermelon! He even shared the little watermelon he had in his fridge with Cade and Alayna. It was a fun day, to say the least.

I attempted to get a photo of all of us together, but Cade wasn't cooperating (as you can see he's not in the picture).... and frankly, Granpa wasn't either (he was too busy giving kisses -- which I'll take any day)!

Finding What It Takes

I caught up with my very best college friend last night and, as usual, our conversation quickly turned to the little ones. While she is ready to pop with her third baby, I'm dreaming about a third. But first I understand that we have a priority to get moved to Cedar Rapids and settled in a new home, new school district, and new job.

Yep, that was my big announcement. We're finally moving home!

[So, back to the conversation...] We spent an hour and a half talking about what our 2, 3, and 4 year olds were into and upto that was funny, intriguing, nerve-wracking, and significant. We tackled the purpose of giving discipline and teaching them values. We confirmed that it was okay to build white-lies for their good, and make up the dreamer-fairy so they'd fall fast asleep when we asked.

Oh, how beautiful it'd be to stay home with my littlest people and live through their smiles every day.

Really, though? How do you do that and remain a professional? So, we talked about tackling a career search. To start over. To find something meaningful. To apply a well-earned and time-consuming master's degree. To build time and rapport. To take leave. To keep your professional status. To grow... at work and at home.

My goal is just to find balance being the perfect mom to my babies, the most supportive wife to my hard-working husband, and yet be a dedicated employee who believes in the organization mission.

Oh, and then there is someone called 'me' that I need to consider too.

That's a lot. No wonder why my head spins in a million directions when we have the moving discussion. I'm driven though. I can do it! I can be who I want to be and who I need to be at the same time. I just need to find what it takes. I need to be critical when looking for a new career. I need to fight for myself for once, and give credit where it's due. The job must challenge me and lift me up. It must strengthen me as a professional and supplement me as a mother. It needs to agree with my morals and dreams. And God-forbid, let's hope that it's flexible!

Can't I just blog for a living?

Lenten Vows

It's that time of year where we all think of something extremely daring and brave to "give up" or "consume less of". It's a challenge for me every year, just like a New Year's Resolution is. What should I identify as my biggest weakness? What do I do that is unhealthy for me? What are my personal goals in the next year? What could I do better at? In the past I've given up hitting the snooze button, exercising more, removing soda from my diet, being negative, and all other traditional ideas. This year, I hear the fad is to give up social networking... (wow, how times have changed!)

I decided to go with something very therapuetic to me... SHOPPING!

I quickly learned though, that doesn't mean grocery shopping, necessity shopping, or birthday shopping. But, instead I'm eliminating the days where I waste time browsing shelves, looking for something to splurge money on. My kids' closets are stocked and so is mine. My home isn't missing any necessary vase or wall art. My husband loves me with what I already own. Toys are overflowing our rooms, as it is. You wouldn't believe how this commitment has already made me realize two things: 1.) there is no reason to buy it, even if it is on sale, and 2.) I get a lot of coupons via email and text messaging! Now, I just hit delete when the notification arrives in my inbox.

And yet, there is another way to contribute to Lenten traditions... by "giving back". If you haven't made your vow yet, I have an idea for you. I won't encourage you to quit shopping, quit tweeting, or start exercising. Instead, consider donating to a great cause.

My three cousins lost their mother in 2008. She was only 48, and had fought the MS battle for 20 years. She was a fighter! And now, those girls formed a team in her honor: Felicia's Fighters. I'm walking with them, and hoping to raise some money for their cause. I encourage you to help me out. All you have to do is click on the banner below and find even $5.00 in your pocket to contribute.

I thank you in advance. Truly.

It's not over...

Saturday night Caden was off to a fun-filled night at the hockey game with his little friend, Hunter. What a perfect opportunity to spoil Alayna with a little time just for her. Of course, her first request was Dairy Queen! But, she couldn't decide between her dilly bar or daddy's cone!

Unfortunately within just an hour, she exploded into hives. Poor little girl was screaming from a sore belly, suffering from a brisk cough, and scrapping her skin off with her finger nails.

Hopefully there is still time to grow out of this peanut allergy.

Cherish the Days

Each semester, I sit on a panel in a Women and Aging course at St. Ambrose for psychology and women's studies students, to share stories about pregnancy, childbirth and labor experiences. It's always such neat recollection of the magical moments that brought Caden and Alayna into this world.

This panel reminds me that everything I once hated... maternity clothes, Taco Bell cravings, varicose veins, and the slight nausea, turns into such minimal issues after you watch your child take their first breath, mimic their first word, attempt their first step, or run off to their first day of school. It also reminds me though, of the fantastically funny moments that I shared with my husband... peeing my pants in Target, my water breaking in bed, asking why I needed to call a crotch doctor for my eye problem when I got tunnel vision, the manual breast pump experiences, and the poop-shooting of our first born.

In the end, my goal of participating in the panel was to instill in these students (and any others interested in childbearing) that no matter how awful the experience sounds, there is nothing more beautiful than pregnancy and child-birth; it's truly one of the most amazing and miraculous events in human nature. One of my co-panelists left the group of students with a statement that I thought was very thought provoking:

"Just when you think the days are so long, the years are so short." 

• Ten years ago, I was studying hard, partying often, and spending free-spirited time with my crush.
• Nine years ago, I was graduating from college and trying to plan a successful future.
• Eight years ago, I took a leap of faith and moved to Minneapolis with my boyfriend.
• Seven years ago, I married the most supportive friend in my world, and the only one who can truly give me a reality check.
• Six years ago, I was blessed with the conception of my first child.
• Five years ago, I was praying to God that our six-week-premature son would be okay.
• Four years ago, I gave up the idea of living in the big city, and decided I'd rather be closer to family.
• Three years ago, a princess entered my life, and I have loved watching myself within her.
• Two years ago, I watched a really special interaction develop between my two babies.
• One year ago, my oldest started preschool and fell in love with learning.
• One month ago, I reprimanded my daughter for talking back.
• Last week, I screamed at my children for screaming at each other.
• This week, I had a very intimate and loving conversation with my husband which brought us full circle.
• Yesterday, I laughed with my son for giggling about boogers.
• Today, I'm thankful for my moments with those I love.
• Tomorrow, I'll be looking back and hoping I did it all the right way.

And that's what family is about...

I grew up in a very close-knit family. As kids, we shared everything between us... food, clothes, space. Now as adults, we are intimate with new things like traditions, dreams, secrets, and advice. Our extended families never have received the same amount of attention. While we've always cherished the moments spent with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, we grew up in families that were too big for "just-because" get-togethers. My mother had five siblings and my dad had seven; our gatherings were reserved for the holidays.

Unfortunately, that created some issues as a child. I never felt a special bond or connection to one cousin or another. I never favored one aunt or grandma over another. We were all just family, in my eyes. And then I married and moved to Minneapolis. I became the only one to not live within 30 miles of Cedar Rapids. We sure tried to come back as much as possible to visit, but our connections with our extended family solely relied on holiday traditions.

Then maturity set in a bit more, and I hit my aha! moment. Jarin and I began having children and we grasped the true value in being closer to our whole family. It was a battle, as one friend recently explained to me, between living up the life you have to live, or realizing that being close to your family is what it's all about. So we relocated again.

In recent years other changes have taken place. I've lost two of my last three living grandparents, and holiday traditions have become focused on the attempts to continue their traditions. I must say, that the Skala side has done a facinating job, thanks to the effort of my amazing aunts. Some day I hope to express my true appreciation to them for building this definition of family.

Without Grandma Pat around though, mom's side has created plenty of excuses for eliminating a Christmas celebration in the past two years. But, we put an end to that this year and had, for the first time, a "just-because" get-together with loads of food, family and fun. It was an amazing time, and proved to us all that 1.) holidays aren't the only reason to connect and that 2.) we really do need each other. After all, we are one big family. Enjoy the pictures!

Sweet Henley (cold and all) kept us all entertained!

AJ and Cade were pals for the day!

Everyone hanging out and enjoying the company.

Alayna was the big girl for the day!

The "kids" before saying good-bye.

The Purpose of Today

We're pretty practical people. We rarely rush toward the new fads. We purchase things as we need them. And, yes, I said need. Okay, so possibly there is a confusion between needs and wants amongst our family! That's probably what stirs the conversation of celebrating a holiday, like Valentine's Day. This weekend, Jarin and I spent some good time discussing whether or not we should "do anything" for V-Day. 

In the past we haven't. We don't give fancy gifts. Not for Valentine's Day or our anniversary. I actually remember when we started dating and requesting that I don't ever receive flowers as an apology, or on Valentine's Day. I didn't want roses because they are marked up to $100 per dozen or because his concious is telling him it's the right thing to do.

But then, as my point went on Saturday, what's wrong with having a reason to celebrate your love on a specific day? Sometimes our lives get so busy running kids to and from basketball, preschool, and daycare, picking up groceries, visiting family, putting in the hours at work, still trying to exercise, keeping up on laundry, scrubbing dishes, and wanting to catch the most recent American Idol clip... that we allow the importance of sending a card, writing a few special words in a love note, eating dinner just the two of you, or lighting a candle, slip to the wayside.

Isn't it quite possible that an anniversary or Valentine's day could be a practical way to force us out of the chaotic lifestyle and into a grateful moment to cherish your partner... even just for one day? I'm not asking for diamonds as a thank-you-for-being-you-gift on Feb 14th. But I do think that we should stop viewing it as an over-rated, commercialized holiday, and more of an opportunity to let those you love know how special they are.

So do your part today. Make sure that before you go to bed tonight, the most special people in your life know how much they mean to you. Can you do it without candy, flowers, or jewlery? I know you can. Prioritze, for just one day, and I guarantee you'll feel better about the idea of Valentine's Day.

Have fun with love today!

Dinner with a Princess

Food is a hot commodity around our house. Cade is already eating like a senior lineman, putting down a standard three packets of oatmeal each morning, and usually second helpings at dinner. Alayna on the other hand, works in slow motion.

Seriously, Jarin and I have battled her dinner hour (which often times exceeds an hour!!) She always finishes, but the process is a whirlwind. She's everywhere... up-down, in-out, big chair-little chair, spoon-fork, napkin-papertowel, cup-straw....It's exhausting!!

After about 15 minutes of this mad-house craziness last night, I thought I'd video record her to share a little of the humor! Here are a few snippets.... Rest assured, her knowledge of being recorded had no influence on her behavior. This is truly a snapshot of our nightly routine!

 

That was enough, she was bored! Here's her dancing all around kitchen with a bit of attitude...

 

I've had enough... I finally pull out the bribes! 

Holy Toledo!! She's finally done!

 

Gotta love those expressions, the wiggles, and the giggles. She sure makes our evenings entertaining!