Amsterdam!

We met through mutual friends who, to this day, remain an important piece of who we are. We dated for four years, committed to a lifetime together before God, and this year came upon 10 years of marriage. This vow has blessed us with three beautifully healthy children, a fantastic career path, and the beginning of an international opportunity of a lifetime. I'd say this called for a celebration! 

And that we did. Our flights brought us from two different sides of the globe, and Amsterdam brought us time together.

For a week we relaxed on a quaint boathouse, cheers'd at every pint of beer, and devoured Dutch apple pie. We kissed at the train stop, indulged in 5 mile runs through the park, and took a candlelight canal ride. We walked the beach, laughed hysterically, had deep conversations, and sat quietly with a glass of wine. We were amazed together at Anne Frank, Van Gogh, Heineken, and the red light district. We stopped keeping time, we slept in, and had dinner at 10 p.m. because the sun was still up. It was magical, it was perfect and beautiful, and it was so much deserved after living apart for more than 3 months.

All the while life went on at home. The kids finished their last week of school and said goodbye to the teachers, families and friends that we've connected with over the past three years. A childhood friend of mine passed on to the heavens, and our baby girl was sick yet again. Thank you to our amazing parents who handled it all, made life normal for the kids, and kept encouraging us to make memories. We did and it was a week to never forget.

The need to be strong and attentive

If you are at all tuned into social media, you've most likely seen the posts everyone is talking about of the family who helped their transgender child become himself. I finally watched the video on YouTube, and wow. I was amazed. Amazed that a child, any child, or children in general can have such deep, meaningful, and real instincts so early on. I was intrigued that this child was in tuned enough to ask the right questions and share his feelings, anxieties, and fears. And I was overwhelmed by the strength of the parents. I sat for a long time wondering what I would do in that situation. While I'm sure that those parents debated that same question, I would always fear that either way, I'd be making the wrong decision for my child.

I spent a day or more reflecting on the video, the captions, and the pictures, and while I've read the negative comments and bashing happening from people across the world, who have absolutely no understanding, no connection, and no heart, I have to praise this couple for helping their son find himself. In the smile alone, you can see a difference.

I wondered in those moments of playing and replaying the video... do I have the strength to be that kind of parent? Do I allow the kids to be who they want to be? (And I don't mean from a gender perspective, I am talking in general.) Is my guidance too strong, or do I allow enough independence to help them make smart, safe decisions independently? Am I that attentive to my children's voice on a daily basis, or over the course of a year to truly hear when something is that uncomfortable?

With so many disturbing actions happening across our country, it's time that we become strong and attentive. Our kids need us, they need the guidance and support and love and belief that no matter who they are, it's okay. We live in a society that must become more welcome to various people, culture, experiences, lifestyles, and interests. It's not as clear as it ever used to be, and that's okay because it makes us each that much more unique, interesting and special. For Ryland, and the many children across the globe who are searching for who they are and where they belong.... speak out. Speak out to someone until they listen. You are a blessing to our community, and we can't afford to lose you.