What a day!

We've only known it's coming for 1/2 a year. You'd think we'd be prepared. But nothing could have made me ready for him to walk away. No one could have told me exactly how I would have felt at that moment. ... And there's not much allowing me to put it aside either.

One week ago, Jarin picked the kids up from school, dropped Cade off at the house, and took his little girl out on a date with ice cream, and a special mani and pedi {sparkles and all}! We then enjoyed a home-cooked dinner together -- Jarin's pick -- and daddy tucked everyone in tightly. That in itself was more of a challenge than expected. Tears flowed when saying "I love you," and that baby girl looked up into his eyes and asked why he was crying. Unfortunately, as there is no way for us adults to be ready, preparing the children is even more difficult. Jars did what any daddy would do, and just held her a little closer that night.


Then we began his packing. [Yes, I said began!] With every fold, I cried more and more. I tried to be strong, but couldn't hold it together. I just had this realization while sitting there, that it was truly going to be some time before seeing him again. I don't know if I was in denial up until that point, or trying to be too strong? Soon, we were both openly talking about the experience, sharing the tears, and admitting our fears. It felt so good. So good to know that I'm not in this alone - he feels the same. So nice to see it's just as hard on everyone else as it is me. So refreshing to know that we didn't have to hide the feelings. We are in this together, and this was just the beginning. That Monday night, I went to bed just a little closer to him, and his arms were wrapped just a little tighter.

The alarm sounded at 4 a.m. Tuesday morning and we all hurried to get hot cocoa, coffee and cappuccino for the trip to the airport. The kids, threw on shoes, coats and hats over top of their cozy pajamas and we all piled in the van. At one point, Jarin admitted to driving only 55 mph, "I don't want to get there," he said. I didn't either. More than anything else, I just wanted to turn the car around and wait until our family could make this leap together. But, we kept trucking and soon, we were there. The kids helped unload and check daddy in...

And we all hung on as long as we could. But then it was time for him to depart.

Watching him walk away, through that security gate without us, was so hard. I stood there, with three babies holding on tightly, and could do nothing but cry. When we got to the car, both Cade and Layna were heart-broken. We spent a lot of time talking about sharing our feelings and being okay with crying when needed. Because, honestly, who wouldn't miss their daddy!