Come to Me

I have faith. A lot of faith. And I rely steeply on the path set in front of me by God. Even though it wasn't until Jarin and I married that I really spent the time to build that understanding, it has recently helped me believe that this transition around the world is a big part of what He hopes for our family.

A week ago, as I sat through the weekly gospel and homily, I looked at our three children and they too were intently listening. To kick it off, the deacon said, "come to me," and in response, Caden and Alayna both loudly repeated it. He went on to explain that saying these three words can ease so much tension when dealing with stress. Stress of a job, from other people, stress to prove who you are or even be who you want. During those minutes of him speaking to us, I made a very meaningful connection.

"Come to me" was exactly the line I'd been in search of. For over four months I have walked the walk, jumped the hoops, and been spread thin to be a single, stay-at-home mom. As if one of those jobs wasn't hard enough, I took on two at the same time. Without a doubt, I know I'm fortunate to be home with the kids. But in this case, there are days that I admittedly am not "home" with them.

Instead, I am moving household goods, cancelling utilities, arranging international moving companies, selling unwanted items, organizing closets, keeping the house picked up, streamlining our banking, discovering necessities to bring along, shopping for those necessities, completing home projects, painting walls, making doctors appointments and researching vaccinations. To add to the list of to-do's, we have encountered every dilemma possible in getting over to China. From building an entire entity to acquiring the appropriate visas, this has been a demanding process. And more than anything else, patience has been required.

I'm not good at that.

Honestly. I suck.

So, as I sat among the congregation, my eyes swelled with tears, and I realized that I needed to ask for help. Not the help from someone to watch my babies. Not the help of physically moving items, or fixing something in the house. I needed help. Support. Guidance. Direction. I needed to be relieved of the stress and pressure that was surrounding me.

Yes, I still cry because I'm overwhelmed. I get sad to say good-bye to our family and friends. But no matter where I am, I can always say, "come to me," and He will always respond.