It's probably fair to say that I have a paranoia in my parenting when it comes to the healthcare of my kids, but we've experienced a few things throughout the toddler years, so I often try to justify my freakish-self-diagnosing habits. Just imagine my Google searches when we had a 6-week preemie, discovered a peanut-allergy, found a double astigmatism, treated clostridium difficile, or were scheduled for double tubes...
There is a new one on the table now: speech and language delay.
At 20 months old and only one word: "yah" that she responds to everything with, I began to wonder what I needed to do to foster Paisley's speech. Let me tell you the amount of blogs, healthcare websites, milestone markers, and parenting sites that I've read. It would be enough for the entire world to be educated about a every possible diagnosis that begins with symptoms of a speech delay. And being a stay-at-home-mom I have way too much time to peruse the web; plus, I can no longer blame the daycare provider for not working with her. Ugh.
What I've come to realize is that a lot plays into speech development. So, maybe she isn't talking because she's the third child, or I'm sure it's just that she is busy "taking in her surroundings". No, no, she doesn't talk because she is focused on developing her motor skills; or wait, maybe it's just that you can't compare your kids and you need to "wait-and-see." Don't forget that she is hearing two different languages at the point of beginning speech; oh, and prior to tubes, she had failed hearing tests in both ears, putting her behind the eight-ball.
Bottom line: She should have about 20 words in her vocabulary by 2 years old. And if we ignore beyond that point, it will ultimately be more difficult to foster the language later.
Well, crap. It hit me... I had 4 months to make a LOT of progress.
So, I emailed our international school here, and contacted an SLP friend to find out what I should be doing at home. Of course, no one can tell you what to do without an assessment. So, we proceeded and found a delay in her expressive speech. While her receptive language is excellent, her social skills are on target, and her motor skills are off the chart, our focus is on fostering her ability to make sounds - any sounds. For the next 3 months, Pais is doing therapy 25 minutes each week. A joke, right? What possibly is learned in that slice of a week?
Well, it's been three weeks now, and each time it gets worse for her to let go of me at the beginning of her session. Today, as she clung to my neck, burying her head into my chest, begging me not to make her go, I again wondered, "is this worth it?" Can she possibly be getting enough out of this when she hates going? I spent time talking with her therapist afterwards, and a huge reality hit me.
Speaking is a painful process for Paisley. It's a challenge. That's why she is in therapy. Therapy is meant to be difficult - that's how you succeed. She does speech while playing in the ball pit, jumping on the trampoline, or walking the balance beem. She loves the play, but hates to talk. And her speech is rewarded through play. So, when Rehanyeh told me that she made her cry a lot today, guilt punched me in the stomach. I felt like the worst mom for forcing this on her when she clearly can't tell me how awful it is.
"But she did so well! I know she has the words in there, it's just my job to pull them out," she added.
As of today, we have about 9 words! I'm amazed, truly, to see things progressing as they have. We've learned strategies to use at home that are clear and precise, and she is tantruming less. I still hold so much guilt just thinking about her inner frustrations when she can't speak her feelings. I'm really so grateful that we decided to "just see" how we could help her. This play therapy is making more difference than what we could do alone.
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