Thoughts from a Working Mom

I read Allison Tate's blog the other day: The Mom Stays in the Picture and I spent the next couple days collecting my thoughts about the message and how I compete. While I appreciate and agree with her message to have mom say cheese with the kiddos, what this blog did for me was even more than that... it begged the question: am I spending enough time with my children?

The answer is clearly no. There are not enough hours in one day to work full-time, be a wife, daughter, sister, friend, and aunt, and still find the amount of time in one day to be with my kids as much as I wish I could. I've found in just 6 years that children grow way too fast. While I sweat those moments that Allison speaks of (preparing for birthdays, Halloween, and Christmas), it is usually because I'm trying to force 2 weeks of planning into 2 days. I never have the time I want to live, save, and cherish the moments as I wish I could.

And it's because I am a working mom.

If I could share my thoughts with my kids, I would tell them this: I wish I could be home with you every day, to take you to school, read to your class, join the field trip, allow you to be a "car rider", eliminate the need for someone else to feed you an after-school snack, help you with homework, or let you run in our backyard. I wish I could enroll you in gymnastics or read "book cart" with you after school, so that you didn't have to stay up so late at night to fit in all the activities. I wish you knew that I cry when you do every morning that I have to leave you at daycare, so that I can be at work on time. Know that it's your pictures on my desk that get me through the day, and it makes my day 100 times better when someone asks me about you.

I would also tell them that I love my job. I want to make an impact in children's lives who aren't as fortunate, blessed or loved as you are at home. I wish there was a better way to show you what I do each day when I leave you at daycare. If only you saw what I work for every day, you would know that it's all worth it. I know your heart would be as big as mine is. I believe you would understand that there is room in my day for both -- you and my professional passion.

And some day, if it's possible, I promise to give more time to you when you need it most. When going to school isn't always fun and light-hearted, when days are long, recess isn't an option, and gym isn't what you look forward to. When kids make fun of each other, making friends feels like a war, and when peer pressure gets the best of some... I promise to be more present during those days. If and when that day comes, we'll owe it to daddy for all that he does to make that possible.

Until then, we'll keep taking pictures to remember all the fun that we have together now. I love you.