5 Lessons

It's been over 7 weeks since I have seen my man -- by far, the longest I've ever gone without being by his side. And, sure there have been days that I've cried, days that I wanted to give up on this single-mama stuff, and moments that I could have finished the entire bottle of wine alone, but overall, we have done pretty well. Here five lessons that I've learned so far....

1. Never be too humbled to ask for help. I've accepted my mom's visits at 6 a.m. each day while I go for a run, I've asked my neighbor to come sit with a sleeping baby while I pick up another kiddo from dance, I've allowed my aunt to go out of her way to bring home the boy later at night so he could play longer when the girls reached bedtime, and I've even been okay with my father-in-law buying and replacing new light bulbs on the front of my house. Sure, I've thanked them up and down and insisted on paying or repaying for their graciousness, but what I've found is that people who care about you are happy to help, and even more flattered that you asked for the help.

2. Single parents rock. I have done a lot of balancing of schedules in the evenings and weekends, which makes me feel like a super-calendar-saavy, activity-organized-nazi... and yet I've still gotten to practices 30 minutes late, and done drive thru at Wendy's just to fit in dinner. I've read books every night, tucked them each in, kept family routines, braved nice dinners out, and attended long masses with my kids, just to show the world that I can do it. But let me tell you, it's frustrating. It's hard when there is no one else to do the disciplining while you do the cuddling, it's tough to teach the lessons and be an exemplary parent when you could tape their mouth shut, and it's exhausting when all you really want to do is pee by yourself. Let's give it up for the single parents who make sacrifices every day for their kids -- bless you all, you are doing the right thing.

3. Stay-at-home moms deserve a lot of credit. Maybe it's because I have a one year old that has wheels of a three year old, but each day I find my shoes in the garbage can, dirty laundry thrown down the stairwell, toys in the stove broiler, and hairbows tossed in the pantry. And as soon as I pick it all up, there is milk spilled on the carpet, Kleenex's strewn through the house, and a sweet baby waiting at my legs to be read and rocked to. And during all the chaos, the laundry is done, the groceries are purchased, fieldtrips are attended, classroom parties are organized, dinner is prepared, kids are picked up, naps are taken, and preparation for a move around the world is in the works! While, I adore every moment that I have at home, there is never a boring, dull moment, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time.

5. I'm a happy wife. After 10 years of marriage I love my husband more than I even knew I did. This time away from him has taught me so much about what I take for granted in life, about the joy he brings to me, about the rock that he is to us, and how I really do rely on him to be there -- even when we sit in silence. His presence, here with us, makes our family complete. And I never, ever want to live without that.

Cleaning Out

Spring has sprung (finally!) and this mama has spring-cleaning-fever like you've never seen. I guess it helps that this is my full-time job AND we can only take one 40' container with us to Shanghai; so we have the choice to either live minimally or re-purchase a lot of our goods overseas. Either way, we can't take it with us. And with a fairly good-sized home stuffed full of toys, clothes, and all the baby items that I've hung onto for the last 8 years... that makes for a lot of {ahem} junk that might be good for someone other than me.

A couple weeks ago, I started pulling it all together for a spring rummage sale, and then decided why not post some on social media and get rid of as much "treasure" as I could before having to haul it outside for what will no-doubt be a rainy day of minimal traffic through the garage. But here's my dilemma....I feel really bad.

I mean, guilt is setting in with every post I make. There are a lot of memories embedded in these boxes of unwanted things. And in many cases, someone, somewhere, some family member put a lot of thought or energy into buying these goods for us at one point or another. It was someone's 1st birthday, or a special baptism, or a house warming, or hell, some of this was even perfectly thoughtful hand-me-downs. And I feel totally unappreciative. 

Maybe you'd say what's the difference between putting all this in a garage sale vs. posting online. But I'm flooding everyone's news feeds whether they like it or not. And with a garage sale, the gift-giver may never have known that the item was parting ways with our family. Plus, I'm making money off these gifts. Now, on the flip-side, I don't want to end up on the show: Hoarders! And, to clarify, I do donate a ton of clothes each year to women's shelters and Goodwill. But the amount of stuff I'm talking about is overwhelming.

So, am I in the wrong? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts.... am I overreacting to the situation, or am I truly an ungrateful, thoughtless mama trying to make a few bucks? 

Adding to the Calendar

Shortly after Jarin took off for China I bought the kids a paper calendar to keep track of the big events that we had going on. I thought it would give them something to look forward to on a daily basis while missing daddy. And boy, did they run with it! We now have every practice recorded, a countdown going until daddy gets home, and they are even taking turns marking off the days each morning.

Today, as I was adding something to the calendar I noticed that Alayna (God bless her) independently added her play date with a friend from school. As you can see, we'd arranged for them to get together Friday afternoon following the early dismissal.

Girlfriends

You know those friends who you don't chat with often enough.... those girls you think about all the time, even buy the perfect card for, and never send it.... the ones that if you had to write a book about them it'd be a million pages long because you have that many awesome memories about your friendship? These are typically the same girls that you truly connect with (beyond Facebook, text messages, Snaps!, and IM's) only once or twice a year. And often it's all because you're too busy running from this to that, or you hesitate interrupting their evenings with the kids. But then when you do catch up, without fail, it's like you just saw each other yesterday. (Okay, tell me I'm not the only one in this awful predicament!) Makes you crazy, right?

Well, last week, we did just that. Peg and I go back to when all of us newlyweds lived in the same Minneapolis suburb 10 years ago. Since then, there have been 5 babies and 4 moves between us. And, on March 4th, each of our hubs began our next endeavors, while we each stay back waiting for the kids to finish school. [Clearly, our lives are way too similar!] So, there we were one night texting back and forth, as we both are ready to make moves #5 and 6 between us. We were truly having a pity party for ourselves about how much of a headache it is to pack and "do it all," and how terrible the guys feel being away, and how hard it is on the kids.... yada-yada-yada. And it came to us... we deserved a glass of wine!

Spring Break, baby!!

So it wasn't quite like wet t-shirt contests and midnight parties on the beach.... but, it has been dance parties, dunk contests, and lots of snuggling! Spring break with a 7, 6, and 1 year old (at home and on a budget) requires a little planning. We sure had a blast with our stay-cation activities, and I hope it's something that these babes will remember. They woke each day with smiles on their faces, were thrilled for our day of activities (no matter how lame or grand), and every night they went to bed, wanting to slumber together and talk. Now, how precious is that?