It's been over 7 weeks since I have seen my man -- by far, the longest I've ever gone without being by his side. And, sure there have been days that I've cried, days that I wanted to give up on this single-mama stuff, and moments that I could have finished the entire bottle of wine alone, but overall, we have done pretty well. Here five lessons that I've learned so far....
1. Never be too humbled to ask for help. I've accepted my mom's visits at 6 a.m. each day while I go for a run, I've asked my neighbor to come sit with a sleeping baby while I pick up another kiddo from dance, I've allowed my aunt to go out of her way to bring home the boy later at night so he could play longer when the girls reached bedtime, and I've even been okay with my father-in-law buying and replacing new light bulbs on the front of my house. Sure, I've thanked them up and down and insisted on paying or repaying for their graciousness, but what I've found is that people who care about you are happy to help, and even more flattered that you asked for the help.
2. Single parents rock. I have done a lot of balancing of schedules in the evenings and weekends, which makes me feel like a super-calendar-saavy, activity-organized-nazi... and yet I've still gotten to practices 30 minutes late, and done drive thru at Wendy's just to fit in dinner. I've read books every night, tucked them each in, kept family routines, braved nice dinners out, and attended long masses with my kids, just to show the world that I can do it. But let me tell you, it's frustrating. It's hard when there is no one else to do the disciplining while you do the cuddling, it's tough to teach the lessons and be an exemplary parent when you could tape their mouth shut, and it's exhausting when all you really want to do is pee by yourself. Let's give it up for the single parents who make sacrifices every day for their kids -- bless you all, you are doing the right thing.
3. Stay-at-home moms deserve a lot of credit. Maybe it's because I have a one year old that has wheels of a three year old, but each day I find my shoes in the garbage can, dirty laundry thrown down the stairwell, toys in the stove broiler, and hairbows tossed in the pantry. And as soon as I pick it all up, there is milk spilled on the carpet, Kleenex's strewn through the house, and a sweet baby waiting at my legs to be read and rocked to. And during all the chaos, the laundry is done, the groceries are purchased, fieldtrips are attended, classroom parties are organized, dinner is prepared, kids are picked up, naps are taken, and preparation for a move around the world is in the works! While, I adore every moment that I have at home, there is never a boring, dull moment, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time.
5. I'm a happy wife. After 10 years of marriage I love my husband more than I even knew I did. This time away from him has taught me so much about what I take for granted in life, about the joy he brings to me, about the rock that he is to us, and how I really do rely on him to be there -- even when we sit in silence. His presence, here with us, makes our family complete. And I never, ever want to live without that.
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