Fast forward through lots of play time, books read on repeat, and a battle of food during the lunch hour, and we have nap time! It's really the same routine each day... I tell her it's rest time. She says, "No!" I say "Yes!" She says, "No!" I lie her down, rub her back, rock her in the chair, pretend I'm sleeping too, leave the room. She comes out. I put her back. She comes out. I put her back. She comes out. I put her back and try the tricks again. I threaten to take away playdates. She outsmarts me. We do it again. By the time she's finally asleep, we get about 45 min to 1 hour of rest before bus duty with the older two. Great.
So we kick and scream through dinner, basketball practice, dance club and whatever else might be planned for the night, because she is an exhausted toddler. She gets overly excited about bath time because she believes she is a fish. That is, until she realizes bed time comes next. And so the nightmare repeats.
This time, as she shares a room with her big sister, I'm dreading the fact that Alayna is now being kept awake by this madness on a school night. To make matters worse, I refuse to sleep with her. I know, it'd be easier, and the pain would be over much sooner. But I can't. I can't bring myself to put her in that routine.
Right. I get it. As if this routine that we are in is working. Obviously not!
Instead I offer Paisley to sleep with her sister, fall asleep in my bed, sleep on the floor, the bean bag, the rocker. Anywhere. JUST GO TO SLEEP!!!
But, I can't get mad, because as she is so tired, and still has a limited vocabulary, she pulls the back of her shirt up and pats her own skin. She's asking for a back rub. So tonight, I rubbed her back until her thumb sucking subsided and her little hand dropped down beside her cheek. And as I caressed her back, I remembered how much I loved my grandmother rubbing my back. It, too, would put me to sleep instantly. She used her finger nails without scratching, she rubbed in a pattern that wasn't annoying, she covered the entire back, and if you were really lucky, you got the head rub too. Ahh, she was amazing! And wah-la I had just done the same thing!
Proudly I raised from the toddler bed I was sitting on, careful not to let it creek. I tip-toed out of the bedroom and slowly turned the handle on the door. Whew! Three kids were finally asleep and it was only 10 after 9.Nope. Here she comes. She opens the door and walks out of the room. I looked at her and asked if she was being a naughty girl. She says, "Yah" and walks to the corner to put herself in time out. Oh, if she wasn't so fricking adorable!!
But honestly, the girl needs a cage!
Finally, after taking her picture (I think she figured out I wasn't all that mad) she scurries back to her room. I tell her good-night. She tucks in. I leave, and she comes following me out.
I return her to her bed. This time explaining that first is bed time, then is playtime. Yeah, that "first/then" routine that the speech therapist is recommending sucks. Anyway, I tried. Then I get nasty, threatening a spanking, raising my voice. Ugh. Surely the other kids are going to wake. So, I bring myself back to calmness, tuck her in, sit on the bed. Wait. Get up. Slowly. Barely move a muscle. Oops she sees me. Crap. So I make up a story that I have to pee, and I'll be right back. Great. Now she is crying.... and it just escalated to a scream! I run back in. I'm pissed. But I stay calm and try again.
Tucking her in I don't say anything, but just sit with her. Quietly I search Facebook and emails on my phone. Stupid phone dies so I'm now sitting in a dark room, listening to Alayna play Carrie Underwood on repeat. I'm ready to fall asleep myself, but the jack-in-the-box is still flipping between six different positions, four stuffed animals, two thumbs, three blankets, and two pillows.
Finally, she is quiet, and I softly raise my body off the bed again. I scoot my sock-covered feet across the hard wood floor so that it doesn't make a peep and I grasp a hold of my bracelets so they don't make a racket. BANG! I tripped over the baby doll carrier on the floor. Seriously! Of course, she shuffles in bed, so I stand there frozen in the middle of the room. The pain from my baby toe is killing me and all I want is a glass of wine. She settles back in so I try scooting another couple feet. Finally, I exit the room and return to my oober-important emails in the office.
Not long after she comes to visit me. It's 10:15 and this child is still awake!! This time I ignore her. She crawls up on my lap, and within 3 minutes I have this beauty. So peaceful, yet looking so uncomfortable. I stroked her hair for a few minutes before tucking her in tonight, and then I prayed for patience and thanked God for blessing me with such a loving child.
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