Then it was the beginning of a 6 week vacation, and excited we were! We were blessed with the amazing hospitality of my parents, drank wine nightly, stayed up late catching up and sharing laughs, and spent the days busily running the town -- trampoline parks, outdoor concerts, pontoon rides, American Girl, bike rides and races, swimming pools, shopping at Target and playdates. Each day was an adventure. We visited with so many friends and family members, yet missed time with few. We built relationships with grandparents and cousins, and created memories that we'd have forever.
Let's be honest. There was a point that I became exhausted from all the hustle and bustle and yearned for our small little apartment back home.... in Shanghai. I got tired of living with only the belongings that fit into the four suitcases that we had along with us. I was over borrowing a rental car and not having our own home. I really had a difficult time being separated from my husband; living without each other and trying to say goodnight through phone apps was difficult. Quite frankly, I was feeling like this expat life was for the birds. I never married my sweetheart to spend summers apart.
And just when I felt lonely for him, I realized he was back in China, alone. We were the ones on vacation. Ice cream regularly, few rules around the iPad usage, staying up late and sleeping in, zero responsibility and absolutely no chores. As fun as it sounded, the kids were even out of sorts. I enrolled them in "normal" activities to make it feel like any other summer - including basketball camp and gymnastics, first communion prep and vacation bible school. It helped to keep us busy, and made missing daddy a little more bearable.
Then as the summer came to a close, my emotions went wild. I reflected on the last year; it was surreal. I just wrapped up one year of living in China - something that I never anticipated experiencing. I'd lived in the financial district, shopped the markets, bought street food and toured the history of this estranged country. Had I experienced what I wanted? I began having feelings of not wanting to return. I was done with the expat life. I was tired of missing people, and dreaded embarking on another cycle of meeting new friends, yearning for those I couldn't see for months, and missing out on events and celebrations. I dreaded coming home to fight for healthy, safe food. I didn't want to lose my freedom and independence from driving again. And I surely wasn't ready to walk away from my Iowa family again.
Good-byes were becoming very emotional for me. No matter where I was, there was a void. A void for those in China when I was in the US, and a void for those in America when I was in Shanghai. I realized we wouldn't return for a year and I couldn't fathom all the changes that would occur in my nieces lives, and how much my own children would grow in that time. I was afraid of missing out on something in the next 10 months, and I feared being away. I wasn't ready to board that plane in just a week.
About the same time, we began having conversations about the next phases of our expat journey. Did we really want to sign for two more years? On one end, there was traveling that I wanted to explore, the kids had educational milestones they wanted to meet, and I had friends waiting for us to return... all in China. That's where our dreams laid, that was home before taking this 6 week vacation, and that was what was waiting for us... for now. Then at the same time, I was content with our experiences, we had already seen more than many people do in a lifetime, and I felt changed and more open to cultures other than my own. I felt accomplished. I felt like an emotional roller coaster.
After a quiet dinner out, with a much needed wine and hubby combination, we weighed the pros and cons and evaluated our personal and professional goals. We accepted the idea that a third year in Shanghai could be in our future. And so, as we packed our bags the beginning of August (mostly of food and hygiene items to stock for the next 10 months), we embraced the "one year down, and two to go" mentality. We piled into the plane, and took a deep breath, ready to take on round #2.
We arrived back to Shanghai, moved to a community compound closer to the kids' school, and have fully submerged ourselves to life here again. Of course, a major part of our life includes the friends who've become our Shanghai family. They are those that make the mornings a bit more cheery, are there to celebrate each other's milestones and special moments, and keep us all grounded when the days are Shang-low's. I'm back to feeling comfortable here; it's where we belong...for now, and I'm forever grateful for this journey. It keeps us adaptable and strong, it makes us appreciate those we love, and allows us to explore all the ups and downs of living out of suitcases and traveling the world.
We have a new motto now...
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