Year 2 of Home in China

We've begun our second year as expats now, and what an amazing shift from just 12 months ago. I remember getting here in August 2014, and Jarin leaving just days later for a business trip. I was stuck, dumb-founded, wondering what I am supposed to do with three kids... in China... alone. This year, the same conference approached just days after returning from the summer holiday, and yet again, I was here... with three kids... in China.... alone.

But life is good here. We went to the market and were excited for some of the treats we'd missed over the summer. We connected with friends (who, to us, are family) that we hadn't seen in three months. We explored the community and neighborhood, and hung out at our clubhouse which offers a great outdoor swimming facility. I realized quickly how comfortable we really feel here. It's home.

 

But that is just our little bubble of expat life. Outside of this 2 mile radius is a world of cultural differences that are happening all the time.

People are eagerly trying to make some change, sell what they find, and search for any job that they can get. They'll beg for your time and money, and they work the system.

Just in the last couple weeks, we have tried out four new ayi's before finding the one that fit our family. Friends and family back home are envious of this life of luxury - to have someone in your home to care for kids, clean and cook dinner... but this is a whole world that is misunderstood. It's a weird feeling, uncomfortable even. And it takes a long time to adapt to and appreciate this culture. This person, this ayi, begins to know more about you that anyone... they fold your panties and scrub your toilet; they organize drawers and care for your children; they may clean around you while you sit reading a book; or pick up your children from school while you enjoy lunch with friends. You begin to trust this person, but you caution getting "too close."

It's the hiring of this person that sets the tone. And it's a struggle because what works for some might not be the best fit for you. And yet us expats, we rely on recommendations and word of mouth. This process is a stab in the dark, and just a few weeks ago I was at the point I'd decided against ever hiring again. At one point, a woman stopped by my house for an interview and she brought two friends along. They all handed me the same letter translated into English, which they clearly couldn't read on their own. They looked at me and asked which ayi I liked better, and my inquisitive response was, "by looking at you?" Yes, they were serious. All while this was happening in my house, these women begging for work had their 3 children under 4 years old waiting outside... peeing on my bushes.

Yes, I'm still in awe that citizens feel it appropriate to urinate on the side of the road... or the middle of the road. And I continue to be amazed by the amount of crap that can be carried on one bicycle. And I hurt for the many children who can not be adopted because they were disowned to the point that they are not even considered China citizens. 

To me, this place is an amazing composition of life at all levels. Each day brings me a new level of learning and understanding. I look forward to year two, and all that is ahead.