FSBO 101

The process of relocating was an idea we had about three months ago and boy it feels like an eternity since that brainiac idea surfaced! We started thinking that we had all the time in the world... we were 110% committed to for-sale-by-owner... we priced the house high (giving wiggle room to come down)... we hooked up with skogman.com and iahomesforsale.com to scope out our dream house in Cedar Rapids... we talked to someone about getting approved for our next mortgage... I passed up my first job offer... I put off researching a preschool for Alayna...

Now, 67 days later we are sitting on our FSBO home, being as stubborn as a man who needs directions. We've reduced the price twice, have had 12 open houses with about 6 families and 2 realtors through the house, buried the St. Joseph statue and prayed like heck, met with a realtor for staging and pricing questions, and **deepbreath** still haven't sold this dang house! I swear, FSBO is the toughest job in America! It feels like complete defeat!

I've learned a lot though. It takes more than removing family portraits from your wall and cleaning the bath tubs. It's time consuming! I've worked like crazy to get in with relocation offices at corporate headquarters, contact realtors, and place ads in the newspaper. And all those little fees keep adding up! We've taken new pictures of the house to keep them fresh, ensured that we always have some kind of "red-sticker" on the web site to draw attention, and aligned our open houses with realtor opens in the neighborhood. Not having a MLS number makes selling challenging, but it would also save us $17,000... so how long does a girl try to hold out?

I quit my job on July 15th, and I can't really explain what it feels like to not have the next phase planned out. It's different than when I was 23 and taking a leap of faith to the big metropolitan, renting a 600 square foot apartment with my boyfriend, and living the dream of not having real responsibility. Now, we've crossed into our 30's, have two children, a house we can't sell, and lack a j-o-b.

So, we're getting roomies, going back to 2-bedroom, 1-bath living quarters, mooching off mom and pop Skala for a couple months. It sounds all so demoralizing, doesn't it? While I'm feeling guilty and full of pity for ourselves, deep inside I'm kind of looking forward to hanging out with mom, letting the kids become overly attached, making dinner every night (got nothing else going on!), and planning our days as a big, happy family. I wonder if my parents are just as eager to have us there? As for Jarin, he has scheduled all of his out-of-state client visits for August, if that says anything.

Wish us luck!

Celebrating 7 years

Seven years ago I remember waking at my mom's house to the tune, "go-ing to the cha-pel and we're... gonna get ma-a-ar-ried!" It was raining that morning, and I had a horse and carriage lined up. Of course, it turned out amazing. I loved my hair, the dress was perfect, my church was peaceful, everyone showed up as planned, and the memories have lasted forever. They are engrained in my mind. Every moment of that day, from grasping my father's arm, to the tears that gently fell as I stood at the alter staring at my soon-to-be husband. And then it was over. The ceremony concluded and we were pronounced man and wife. Okay, for all of you who attended, I understand that it was a long hour of ceremonial Catholic mass.... but in my head it all happened so perfectly. And looking back, seven years later, that was such a short fragment of time to springboard the next chapter of our lives.

Then is was time to celebrate!

To my amazing husband... after just seven years, I feel like you've been a part of my heart forever. You have encouraged me, motivated me and believed in me, and for that I'll be forever grateful. I'll never forget the night before our wedding, when you told me "I'm excited for tomorrow, but I'm even more excited for the next 50 years."

Only 42 more to go, babe!

Boy vs. Girl

You know those debates about whether children are born with innate "boy" or "girl" interests? Well, I remember years ago being at the point of the spectrum where I believed children adapted to whatever they were exposed to; that you could shape or mold that interest --- so, theoretically, if you raised your little girl to like cars, fishing, and football, she wouldn't think about make-up, dance, and ponytails. Now, obviously, it's not that easy.

When Caden was born, he received a baby doll, and I was continually explaining justifying to my hubby that it was really important for him to be caring and nurturing toward other children. I recall going to church and daddy would tell Cade that his baby needed to nap in the car while we ran inside. I felt terrible for the little kid. Shoot, if he wanted to bring the baby with him, so be it. And if he grew up passionate about that baby, or any other "girl item", so be it. And if he later decided he was happier being more feminine, so be it. He was still my first born.

And after experiencing five years of raising children (which in my mind constitutes a pro!), I've determined that my role is really to expose my children to all things in life, including gender-opposite items, and let them choose their interests. There is no forcing my son to be caring with a baby, but at the same time, we try not to execute the mentality that he must be an all-star quarterback.

And this is how it's turned out thus far....

While Cade doesn't hesitate to ride Alayna's bike, with a baby carrier on the back and streamers on the front, he loves motorcycles, mohawks, and baseball. You can typically find him wrestling in the middle of the floor or chucking the Barbie across the room. He's all boy. Well, except he did feed the blue baby a bottle on the way home from daycare Wednesday.

And Alayna, she'll get dirty, play with Handy Manny, pretend the hairspray bottle is a gun, and tell me she's going to "poke my eyeball out"; but really I see so much girl in her. Every day she is singing and swaying, twirling her dress tails and hair strands, and giving kisses and hugs to every stuffed animal in the house.

So, I think we've done a good job fostering the kids' personalities, while keeping them adaptable to new interests. It's okay for boys to want to grow into being a compassionate individual, even though in Cade's words that is called a Harley daddy. And I feel it completely appropriate for little girls to be a bad-ass and dream of being a Harley babe.

Living Invincible?

Recently a blog came across my Facebook news feed that left me reading in tears. I don't know this young mother, but her name is Melanie and she is 28 years old, fighting a terminal lung disease with a husband and two babies at home. She writes:

"I can’t wait to go outside and play tag with the boys. I want to go swimming, and walk with them and go to the park. I want the boys to call my name to show me something, and for me to have the strength to get up and go see what they want to show me. I want to go out to eat as a family and go to family fun places. I want to be able to watch Jayden play t-ball. I want to be able to clean my house and put my own children to sleep at night. I want to go to a holiday dinner and be able to do the dishes. Just the simple things. I just can’t wait to be Melanie again. And I know I say this all the time, but when my life is saved, I will never EVER let a single breath go for granted ever. Never, ever, ever. And if you are reading this blog, please count your many blessings. Every day is a gift. I wish I had counted my blessings before. I hope that everyone can use my experience to help you appreciate your many blessings."

I am that person that believes I'm invincible (to a degree) and that nothing like this terrible disease, or any other horrific tragedy, will happen to me. I've had everything fall into place to become the perfect dream that I imagined growing into as a little girl. I had (and have) amazing parents, received two degrees, married early to an incredible man that I love more and more everyday, have two beautiful children who are healthy and smart, live in a beautiful home and don't have to worry each day about money and survival. But this blog entry made me think. What if ... this was me? What if .... I couldn't enjoy those fun-loving moments with my children, husband, and family? What if ... I wasn't able to fill my obligation as a mother?

And so, I made a candid promise to myself last Friday after reading this, to spend my days truly appreciating it all -- doing the dishes, taking showers, cleaning my house (even though it was for another worthless open house, *sigh*), watching the kids' smiles, hearing their giggles and tantrums, playing catch even when I can honestly say I am not good, putting up with Toys R Us stops that last hours longer than they should, and finding a place for the little girl to pee at t-ball practice. My weekend wasn't about throwing demands at my kids, or yelling at my husband (okay, maybe once... sorry Jar).

Our Memorial Day weekend was livable and lovable, and consisted of no scheduled events. It left time for living on a whim and being with each other. Caden learned to ride a bike without training wheels, within just a couple hours. He was so proud! (Uncle Blake, he's ready for his first real bike!!) Meanwhile, Layne learned to ride no-handed!

Alayna also fulfilled the role of being the beauty queen that she is....

 And the best part was that her daddy rushed home after work to help in making her so pretty. Can we say Awesome Father Award?

Caden also graduated from preschool this week, and everyone drove through tornado-like storms to be there when daddy couldn't.

I guess it's really about those little moment in life. From the smallest things that make you smile to the milestones you'll never forget. Each moment is a gift from God, and I know how blessed I am.

Don't live your life as though you're invincible because you never know. To Melanie, and the many others in the world fighting for your life, you are an inspiration!