Saturday, June 4, 2011

Boy vs. Girl

You know those debates about whether children are born with innate "boy" or "girl" interests? Well, I remember years ago being at the point of the spectrum where I believed children adapted to whatever they were exposed to; that you could shape or mold that interest --- so, theoretically, if you raised your little girl to like cars, fishing, and football, she wouldn't think about make-up, dance, and ponytails. Now, obviously, it's not that easy.

When Caden was born, he received a baby doll, and I was continually explaining justifying to my hubby that it was really important for him to be caring and nurturing toward other children. I recall going to church and daddy would tell Cade that his baby needed to nap in the car while we ran inside. I felt terrible for the little kid. Shoot, if he wanted to bring the baby with him, so be it. And if he grew up passionate about that baby, or any other "girl item", so be it. And if he later decided he was happier being more feminine, so be it. He was still my first born.

And after experiencing five years of raising children (which in my mind constitutes a pro!), I've determined that my role is really to expose my children to all things in life, including gender-opposite items, and let them choose their interests. There is no forcing my son to be caring with a baby, but at the same time, we try not to execute the mentality that he must be an all-star quarterback.

And this is how it's turned out thus far....

While Cade doesn't hesitate to ride Alayna's bike, with a baby carrier on the back and streamers on the front, he loves motorcycles, mohawks, and baseball. You can typically find him wrestling in the middle of the floor or chucking the Barbie across the room. He's all boy. Well, except he did feed the blue baby a bottle on the way home from daycare Wednesday.

And Alayna, she'll get dirty, play with Handy Manny, pretend the hairspray bottle is a gun, and tell me she's going to "poke my eyeball out"; but really I see so much girl in her. Every day she is singing and swaying, twirling her dress tails and hair strands, and giving kisses and hugs to every stuffed animal in the house.

So, I think we've done a good job fostering the kids' personalities, while keeping them adaptable to new interests. It's okay for boys to want to grow into being a compassionate individual, even though in Cade's words that is called a Harley daddy. And I feel it completely appropriate for little girls to be a bad-ass and dream of being a Harley babe.

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