The Decision

The fostering process happened rather quickly for us once we met with a couple different medical foundations. It was clear that the need was there, and we were ready; but the questions became real. We were "choosing" a child. And against all that I am, and all that I believed in, I found myself really, truly "choosing" one child over another. Whether based on the sweet smiling (or screaming) faces peering back at me, the medical condition in which they've been diagnosed with, the rehabilitation phases that were to come, the orphanage or province in which they came from, or the behavior and interaction between our kids... I began analyzing so many factors that played a role in the selection of a child.



I sat back and was in awe that I could look at a child like this, and pass them up; basically telling them they weren't right for us. It was a true test of my humanity; a test that I never thought I would engage in. I have experience working with children with disabilities, I've cared for them, and matched them with educational devices to make their lives easier; I've counseled them and their parents, and fought for fostered kids in front of a judge. I've matched kids with other adults who cared for them when their parents didn't or couldn't, and I've always seen a sparkle in each and every child that I worked with. And now I was in a position to "choose" a child.

It has been an impactful experience. I've deeply relied on my faith, and deep, connected discussions with my husband and friends. A lot of reassurance has evolved from those talks, where I concluded that it's okay to choose a child that fits right with my own family, because in the end, we want it to work for all of us. The facts are that we are already a family of five. We are busy and involved, and we are hoping to include a new child into our daily and nightly routines. Finding that perfect fit is what this process is all about.

Through this I've learned that we are fortunate to be here, in China, so that we can meet these babies in advance. We aren't restricted to a file, or notes from a doctor who is overwhelmed with too many orphans, to really see a true diagnosis or the optimism that lies in a child's future. We, instead, are here to see it for ourselves. And we saw the spark that happened when our family met 'Baby Chan Chan' for the first time. We were blessed to welcome him to our home last weekend...

His caretakers were beyond sad to see him leave the Shanghai Baby Home, which made me an emotional mess. Then watching the fear in his eyes and wondering what must be going through his sweet head... It was a trying day. We've since given him the English name, Liam, and he's truly been a bundle of fun. The kids love teaching him patty-cake, and Paisley sings "Twinkle, Twinkle" to him any time he fusses. We figured out the ropes of 4 children quickly when realizing that with a driver our minivan is full :), the double stroller has saved me for school drop offs, and family pictures look like half an army. But he's a super snuggler and loves to eat!

This journey is sure to be an amazing one. We are overwhelmed with support and love from our friends and family. Thank you for not telling us we are crazy, but instead that we just have a big heart -- it truly makes a difference.