The Sign from God

Our foster/adoption story is one that has been an emotional road for our family. Finally coming to terms with all that has been weighed, and then our final decisions, has been more than difficult. Here's a little insight to the raw emotions and feelings that we've battled as individuals, soulmates, parents and a family.... 

Within just a couple months of taking in Liam, we learned a lot about our family and the connections built around relationships. Relations that don’t have to be blood, marriage or ancestral, but instead focused entirely around love and genuine caring. Fostering does that. It allows you to engross your mind and heart into the guts of human nature. To truly feel a love and a connection to someone that God hands you in a totally different form than your biological children. 

And that happened with Liam in our home. In less than three short months, our discussions moved from fostering to adoption. What would it cost us? What does the process look like? How long will it take? Is this the right thing for our family? Soon, we were attending a class about submitting a dossier, and it was then, March 16, that I verbally committed - aloud - in the presence of others, that we were beginning the adoption process. 

My mom happened to be visiting at this time, and she accompanied me to the information session, as Jarin was working. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and joy in her heart and promised to love this boy with all her being. She was proud to be gaining another grandson. 

The weeks went by, and we connected with our adoption agency in New York. We worked diligently to complete paperwork, and acquire the necessary recommendation letters from clergy, business connections, current and past friends, family and even our children’s teachers. We requested police clearances and criminal record checks from all cities that we’ve lived in, and followed up regularly to ensure they were being submitted as promised. 

The agency helped us with work-arounds when the trainings were not conducive to us living in Shanghai, or when the videos were not yet available. And at the final moments, we cancelled plans and squeezed in a home visit while the leader of the agency was in town. The process kept us up late at night to make phone calls to the states, and occupied our days attempting finger printing and notaries within China. We began seeing the end in sight!

And then we received notification that with a poor judgement call from our youth, we would need extra documentation, personal letters and more recommendations to support our abilities to adopt. I began to get frustrated. After raising three children of my own, “they” were doubting our parenting abilities due to decisions from nearly 20 years ago. I didn’t understand how our education levels or professional accomplishments, our leadership abilities or parenting styles could be overlooked. I realized then, this wasn’t a judgement on me as much as it was a protective process for the child. So, we kept pursuing the requirements. We were persistent. 

But it was difficult. We searched for a sign from God that we were doing the right thing. I wanted Him to tell me what to do, where to turn, what to say. I waited and prayed for an answer; for someone to tell me what to do, and whether to keep fighting. 

A couple more weeks past, and I continued feeling sluggish. I was saddened by the turn of the paperwork, and found myself less motivated to work quickly. I was easily overcome with emotion after conversations with the agency, and I felt sick to my stomach. But, it wasn’t merely the process or the delays that were causing these feelings.

It was the positive pregnancy test. 

Here we were, battling for the life of this child. A child we were willing to take in, care for and provide required medical attention, and yet we were halted by more unexpected news. News that would soon be realized as a true blessing to our family. 

I remember sitting on the couch with my husband that night and apologizing through my tears. I knew China’s rules and regulations around adoption. Five children is pushing it, and you surely cannot adopt while pregnant. As a matter of fact, the youngest in the home has to be 12 months of age or older to begin the process. I felt our plans were royally messed up. The strikes against us felt enormous - too big to battle. I lost the umph and the willingness to keep trying. 

Jarin continued asking me to wait until I was in a better place to make decisions, and soon I listened. First I needed to come to terms with the fact that I was providing for another child. I needed to be stress-free and healthy. As the weeks continued rolling by, I quit the paperwork needed for the adoption. I put things on hold and refocused my energy on life outside of the adoption. We continued loving up on Liam and giving him the best possible care we could. But as for the future, we were unsure.

We reached a point though, where as expats we transition to our home country for the summer holiday, and accommodations needed to be in place for Liam as he wasn’t allowed to travel outside of China. We decided to say good-bye for a while and re-place him in the Baby Home he was picked up from just a half year prior. It was truly the hardest day of our life.

While we processed our final decisions over the summer months, we were reminded how much we loved this little boy. We are at peace knowing that the nearly 6 months we provided him was an enormous benefit to him … and us. We’ve grown tremendously from the experience of fostering, and while the adoption is on hold for now, we are certain that God has an amazing plan for Liam - whether with us or his forever family.

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Take a few minutes and enjoy a recap of our 6 months with this sweet baby.

If you are unable to view the above video, please visit our YouTube Channel at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnKmPeBi8t4