Finding What It Takes

I caught up with my very best college friend last night and, as usual, our conversation quickly turned to the little ones. While she is ready to pop with her third baby, I'm dreaming about a third. But first I understand that we have a priority to get moved to Cedar Rapids and settled in a new home, new school district, and new job.

Yep, that was my big announcement. We're finally moving home!

[So, back to the conversation...] We spent an hour and a half talking about what our 2, 3, and 4 year olds were into and upto that was funny, intriguing, nerve-wracking, and significant. We tackled the purpose of giving discipline and teaching them values. We confirmed that it was okay to build white-lies for their good, and make up the dreamer-fairy so they'd fall fast asleep when we asked.

Oh, how beautiful it'd be to stay home with my littlest people and live through their smiles every day.

Really, though? How do you do that and remain a professional? So, we talked about tackling a career search. To start over. To find something meaningful. To apply a well-earned and time-consuming master's degree. To build time and rapport. To take leave. To keep your professional status. To grow... at work and at home.

My goal is just to find balance being the perfect mom to my babies, the most supportive wife to my hard-working husband, and yet be a dedicated employee who believes in the organization mission.

Oh, and then there is someone called 'me' that I need to consider too.

That's a lot. No wonder why my head spins in a million directions when we have the moving discussion. I'm driven though. I can do it! I can be who I want to be and who I need to be at the same time. I just need to find what it takes. I need to be critical when looking for a new career. I need to fight for myself for once, and give credit where it's due. The job must challenge me and lift me up. It must strengthen me as a professional and supplement me as a mother. It needs to agree with my morals and dreams. And God-forbid, let's hope that it's flexible!

Can't I just blog for a living?