Boy vs. Girl

You know those debates about whether children are born with innate "boy" or "girl" interests? Well, I remember years ago being at the point of the spectrum where I believed children adapted to whatever they were exposed to; that you could shape or mold that interest --- so, theoretically, if you raised your little girl to like cars, fishing, and football, she wouldn't think about make-up, dance, and ponytails. Now, obviously, it's not that easy.

When Caden was born, he received a baby doll, and I was continually explaining justifying to my hubby that it was really important for him to be caring and nurturing toward other children. I recall going to church and daddy would tell Cade that his baby needed to nap in the car while we ran inside. I felt terrible for the little kid. Shoot, if he wanted to bring the baby with him, so be it. And if he grew up passionate about that baby, or any other "girl item", so be it. And if he later decided he was happier being more feminine, so be it. He was still my first born.

And after experiencing five years of raising children (which in my mind constitutes a pro!), I've determined that my role is really to expose my children to all things in life, including gender-opposite items, and let them choose their interests. There is no forcing my son to be caring with a baby, but at the same time, we try not to execute the mentality that he must be an all-star quarterback.

And this is how it's turned out thus far....

While Cade doesn't hesitate to ride Alayna's bike, with a baby carrier on the back and streamers on the front, he loves motorcycles, mohawks, and baseball. You can typically find him wrestling in the middle of the floor or chucking the Barbie across the room. He's all boy. Well, except he did feed the blue baby a bottle on the way home from daycare Wednesday.

And Alayna, she'll get dirty, play with Handy Manny, pretend the hairspray bottle is a gun, and tell me she's going to "poke my eyeball out"; but really I see so much girl in her. Every day she is singing and swaying, twirling her dress tails and hair strands, and giving kisses and hugs to every stuffed animal in the house.

So, I think we've done a good job fostering the kids' personalities, while keeping them adaptable to new interests. It's okay for boys to want to grow into being a compassionate individual, even though in Cade's words that is called a Harley daddy. And I feel it completely appropriate for little girls to be a bad-ass and dream of being a Harley babe.

Living Invincible?

Recently a blog came across my Facebook news feed that left me reading in tears. I don't know this young mother, but her name is Melanie and she is 28 years old, fighting a terminal lung disease with a husband and two babies at home. She writes:

"I can’t wait to go outside and play tag with the boys. I want to go swimming, and walk with them and go to the park. I want the boys to call my name to show me something, and for me to have the strength to get up and go see what they want to show me. I want to go out to eat as a family and go to family fun places. I want to be able to watch Jayden play t-ball. I want to be able to clean my house and put my own children to sleep at night. I want to go to a holiday dinner and be able to do the dishes. Just the simple things. I just can’t wait to be Melanie again. And I know I say this all the time, but when my life is saved, I will never EVER let a single breath go for granted ever. Never, ever, ever. And if you are reading this blog, please count your many blessings. Every day is a gift. I wish I had counted my blessings before. I hope that everyone can use my experience to help you appreciate your many blessings."

I am that person that believes I'm invincible (to a degree) and that nothing like this terrible disease, or any other horrific tragedy, will happen to me. I've had everything fall into place to become the perfect dream that I imagined growing into as a little girl. I had (and have) amazing parents, received two degrees, married early to an incredible man that I love more and more everyday, have two beautiful children who are healthy and smart, live in a beautiful home and don't have to worry each day about money and survival. But this blog entry made me think. What if ... this was me? What if .... I couldn't enjoy those fun-loving moments with my children, husband, and family? What if ... I wasn't able to fill my obligation as a mother?

And so, I made a candid promise to myself last Friday after reading this, to spend my days truly appreciating it all -- doing the dishes, taking showers, cleaning my house (even though it was for another worthless open house, *sigh*), watching the kids' smiles, hearing their giggles and tantrums, playing catch even when I can honestly say I am not good, putting up with Toys R Us stops that last hours longer than they should, and finding a place for the little girl to pee at t-ball practice. My weekend wasn't about throwing demands at my kids, or yelling at my husband (okay, maybe once... sorry Jar).

Our Memorial Day weekend was livable and lovable, and consisted of no scheduled events. It left time for living on a whim and being with each other. Caden learned to ride a bike without training wheels, within just a couple hours. He was so proud! (Uncle Blake, he's ready for his first real bike!!) Meanwhile, Layne learned to ride no-handed!

Alayna also fulfilled the role of being the beauty queen that she is....

 And the best part was that her daddy rushed home after work to help in making her so pretty. Can we say Awesome Father Award?

Caden also graduated from preschool this week, and everyone drove through tornado-like storms to be there when daddy couldn't.

I guess it's really about those little moment in life. From the smallest things that make you smile to the milestones you'll never forget. Each moment is a gift from God, and I know how blessed I am.

Don't live your life as though you're invincible because you never know. To Melanie, and the many others in the world fighting for your life, you are an inspiration!

All-Star for a Day

Five years ago, there was an amazing little man who came into our lives six weeks prematurely. It was the best gift God could have delivered. Caden Dwight fought for 10 hard days in the intensive care unit after being born at 5 lbs 9 oz.

Cade has developed to love sports, his sister, and school. Now at five years old, we felt this milestone deserved a big celebration…and so, Cade chose to party with the Quad City River Bandits as they took on the Cedar Rapids Kernels Sunday. It couldn’t have been more fun! Caden was truly an all-star for the day. Check out his moments in the spotlight!!

He graduates from preschool today, and we are so proud of him. It's hard to believe that this is only the beginning of our amazing journey watching him grow into a young man. Thank you to all the family and friends in our life who’ve helped shape who he is, and who Jarin and I are as parents.

Motherhood

I've tried to be a stay-at-home mom, albeit, it was only for four months. But there was something about having professional interactions and an applicable purpose for my master's degree that made the dedication to work outside of the home more appealing to me. So, that's what I've done... this balancing act of working, being a mom, loving myself, and still keeping that spark in my marriage. Monday was a different story.

I woke early to be on the road to Des Moines by 6 a.m. It was quiet. No one was up. I made myself coffee. I showered in peace. Shoot, I even shaved my legs. And then I went from room to room, pushing hair out of faces, giving kisses on warm cheeks, and patting the butts of those I love the most. I whispered good-bye to each sleeping beauty, and walked out the door.

On my way down the highway, I realized that the appeal of "going to work" was not-so-appealing today. There was something much more sexy about me being the one tucked in tight, hearing "have-a-good-day" whispers from my hubby dressed in his suit and tie.

And then I realized. Nothing about working full-time, being a mom, and walking that balance beam is truly sexy. The appeal in life comes from the moments you make together, not the day-to-day logistics. And so, here's a little about how us Hansen's celebrate life together.

Annual baseball game with coolers as bases!

Bocce Ball competitions

Mother's Day picnic conglomeration!

Family competitions and giggles

Now, if you don't find this sexy... fine. I don't really either, in the literal sense. But I do find it stimulating, beautiful, and above all, the reason I work and provide for my family every day. So, for me... celebrating motherhood is as sexy as it comes some days. 

Batter Up!

I woke Caden up Thursday morning with something to look forward to... his first t-ball practice, and boy, was he excited!! This will be the third sport he's played this year, and I think it might come in close to the top. Maybe it has something to do with his Papa influence with the Cubs?

Either way, I love the way he struts his stuff, carries, his shoulders, and even changes his voice when talking about it. Really, he's only 4! (... okay, so maybe he is 9 days from being 5 years old, but whatever... a mom can live up the moment, right?)

Coach Jason shows him how to line up.

And he hits it on the first try!

Safe at first!

Can you see him racing into home plate!?!!

If you'd like to see this little man in action, join us at Marquette Parkway, for any of his games:

Tues June 7th at 7 p.m.

Thurs June 9th at 7 p.m.

Wed June 15th at 5:30 p.m.

Thurs June 16th at 5:30 p.m.

Tues June 21st at 7 p.m.

Thurs June 23rd at 7 p.m.

Mon June 27th at 5:30 p.m.

Tues June 28th at 7 p.m.

Tues July 5th at 7 p.m.

Wed July 6th at 5:30 p.m.

He's getting smart!

My kids are at the age, only 20 months apart, that they play so well together. I hate for them to grow up, grow apart, separate girl things from boy things, meet their own friends, focus on their own interests, etc.

Something though, tells me that it's not going to be just their interests that pull them apart.... it might possibly be Cade's annoyance with how much his sister talks! She doesn't quit!!! Every waking moment she is telling a story, wanting your undivided attention, all the while chomping on her bubble gum! She is the all-American, chattery, valley-girl who back in the 90's our parents mocked and made fun of us for.

Tonight the two were playing downstairs together while I made dinner. Of course I could hear Alayna bossing Caden around, being her sassy-self. He just took her orders and pretty soon Cade came up with his three motorcycles and shut the basement door behind him. I didn't think anything of it as Layna continued jabbering downstairs by herself. She was singing, playing with the babies, chewing her gum, and carrying on when after about 20 min she yelled for Cade (in a singy-song voice), "Big bruuuuutter! Wheeere arrrre youuuu?" His response was without pause and completely nonchalant, "I am still going potty."

Clearly, he did not come up to go potty! I looked at him (kinda sideways, I'm sure) and said, "Really? Why did you tell her that?"

"Cuz mom," he said, "... I don't want her to know where I'm at!" Poor boy.

Saying Good-bye to Mr. Miles

Jarin has fought allergies for as long as I've known him. And I've known him since college. But, I've also had my furry friend, Mr. Miles, since then as well. So when the ENT refused to do much to treat Jarin's allergies until he got rid of the cat, it was a toss up for me. Get rid of the husband, or Miles? Okay, well maybe not that extreme...

Then in the fall of 2009, Cade was put on an inhaler for an allergic cough. Oh no, I really needed to start thinking about my options now! While Jarin was such a good sport for 8 years, I didn't think it was right to make Cade go through the fight too. So I started pondering what life would be without the furry guy running  around.

Well, it's a year and a half later now, and we are planning to move. What a perfect time to find him a new home. But, I was certain there wouldn't be another family to love Miles the way we have. Even with the boys' allergies, not a day went by that either of them didn't hold, cuddle, and love him.

Finally last week I sat at the computer and wrote up the online newspaper classified, added a picture...and hit 'Save'. The next day, I pulled it back up on the computer... do I really hit 'Submit'? Yes, I had to. And within 9 hours I had my first email from someone inquiring. Right away I called Jarin (who was in New Orleans on business). "I can't commit," I told him.

But I did, and it couldn't have worked out better. Miles is now the brother to 3-year old who was afraid of the dark and reluctant every time his parents left him. The family keeps in contact with us regularly and provides continuous updates on Miles. Their most recent note said the following:

Things are still going really well. We have all grown to love Miles so much! He really fits well here and we all enjoy his company. Just as you said he is always close by where ever we are. Today Tyler and I made Easter cupcakes and Miles was right there "supervising" the whole time! :)

Here he is snuggled in his new digs...

Time with Granpa

I often write about family. It's a value that I hold close. It's why I'm the person I am. It's why Jarin is who he is. It's one reason Jarin and I clicked years ago. It's the basis of how we raise our children. It's why we are moving home...

A couple weeks ago, I packed up the kids and drove over two hours to see my grandfather, who's living in a care center, and cared for daily by my lovely aunt and her many co-workers. Granpa Don is my only living grandparent, and we don't get to see him often enough. And, that's enough to make a mom feel guilty -- my kids don't have the opportunity to endure that special relationship regularly.

It also makes me nervous when we do get to visit. I'm typically afraid that the kiddos won't be familiar enough with him to know how important hugs, kisses and that special bond is. But, my Thing 1 and Thing 2 blew me away!! When I mentioned the idea, they were excited! Right away, they drew pictures for him and I helped them add their photo and put a frame around each. Here's a shot of Granpa's reaction when they presented his gifts....

We spent two hours with him that afternoon, in his small room, and we reminisced about his life with my grandmother, how they met, when they got married, how they loved children.... and watermelon! He even shared the little watermelon he had in his fridge with Cade and Alayna. It was a fun day, to say the least.

I attempted to get a photo of all of us together, but Cade wasn't cooperating (as you can see he's not in the picture).... and frankly, Granpa wasn't either (he was too busy giving kisses -- which I'll take any day)!

Finding What It Takes

I caught up with my very best college friend last night and, as usual, our conversation quickly turned to the little ones. While she is ready to pop with her third baby, I'm dreaming about a third. But first I understand that we have a priority to get moved to Cedar Rapids and settled in a new home, new school district, and new job.

Yep, that was my big announcement. We're finally moving home!

[So, back to the conversation...] We spent an hour and a half talking about what our 2, 3, and 4 year olds were into and upto that was funny, intriguing, nerve-wracking, and significant. We tackled the purpose of giving discipline and teaching them values. We confirmed that it was okay to build white-lies for their good, and make up the dreamer-fairy so they'd fall fast asleep when we asked.

Oh, how beautiful it'd be to stay home with my littlest people and live through their smiles every day.

Really, though? How do you do that and remain a professional? So, we talked about tackling a career search. To start over. To find something meaningful. To apply a well-earned and time-consuming master's degree. To build time and rapport. To take leave. To keep your professional status. To grow... at work and at home.

My goal is just to find balance being the perfect mom to my babies, the most supportive wife to my hard-working husband, and yet be a dedicated employee who believes in the organization mission.

Oh, and then there is someone called 'me' that I need to consider too.

That's a lot. No wonder why my head spins in a million directions when we have the moving discussion. I'm driven though. I can do it! I can be who I want to be and who I need to be at the same time. I just need to find what it takes. I need to be critical when looking for a new career. I need to fight for myself for once, and give credit where it's due. The job must challenge me and lift me up. It must strengthen me as a professional and supplement me as a mother. It needs to agree with my morals and dreams. And God-forbid, let's hope that it's flexible!

Can't I just blog for a living?

Lenten Vows

It's that time of year where we all think of something extremely daring and brave to "give up" or "consume less of". It's a challenge for me every year, just like a New Year's Resolution is. What should I identify as my biggest weakness? What do I do that is unhealthy for me? What are my personal goals in the next year? What could I do better at? In the past I've given up hitting the snooze button, exercising more, removing soda from my diet, being negative, and all other traditional ideas. This year, I hear the fad is to give up social networking... (wow, how times have changed!)

I decided to go with something very therapuetic to me... SHOPPING!

I quickly learned though, that doesn't mean grocery shopping, necessity shopping, or birthday shopping. But, instead I'm eliminating the days where I waste time browsing shelves, looking for something to splurge money on. My kids' closets are stocked and so is mine. My home isn't missing any necessary vase or wall art. My husband loves me with what I already own. Toys are overflowing our rooms, as it is. You wouldn't believe how this commitment has already made me realize two things: 1.) there is no reason to buy it, even if it is on sale, and 2.) I get a lot of coupons via email and text messaging! Now, I just hit delete when the notification arrives in my inbox.

And yet, there is another way to contribute to Lenten traditions... by "giving back". If you haven't made your vow yet, I have an idea for you. I won't encourage you to quit shopping, quit tweeting, or start exercising. Instead, consider donating to a great cause.

My three cousins lost their mother in 2008. She was only 48, and had fought the MS battle for 20 years. She was a fighter! And now, those girls formed a team in her honor: Felicia's Fighters. I'm walking with them, and hoping to raise some money for their cause. I encourage you to help me out. All you have to do is click on the banner below and find even $5.00 in your pocket to contribute.

I thank you in advance. Truly.